i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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