I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
