remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
