are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Randomize
