in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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