You made me cry and you don't even care
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
