i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
