ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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