we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
