I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
