no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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