This girl is more easily done than said...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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