we're blogging at a bar
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
