you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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