Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize