dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
