Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
And then he peed in my hair
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