Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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