I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
