im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Randomize