I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
