marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
