At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
