Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
