just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
