His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
