4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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