Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
