with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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