I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
