I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Farmville is her only friend.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
