shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
