I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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