Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
