This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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