the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
