And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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