I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
