i think i have two assholes
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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