none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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