at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
