Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize