I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
This baby is an asshole
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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