Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
