I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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