No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
