dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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