soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
