I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
