I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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