Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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