I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
