im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
