when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
