so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize