and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
