Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
